Thread: I found out my husbad has been cheating on me

I have been married for 13 years and together for 17. We had a great life together and 2 great children. We spent our life savings on a bar/restaurant which has drained us financially. We are finally seeing some payback for all our efforts. Turns out that H had an affair with the manager there for 2 years and it has been over for almost a year.

I have suspected this (although only in the past year??) and asked him numerous times and it was always denied. He had been drinking excessively in recent times and finally when I said that I had enough with his over indulgences he said that the reason for it was because he has an affair.

She is still working there but he has had no contact with her other than through another employee, they work different days now. She has 2 weeks to get out of the place. I plan on taking over her position because I have to do this for me and I will no longer tolerate being left on the outside wondering what is going on there.

He has been staying in a hotel since the news broke (I told him I would knife him if he did not leave immediately). I saw him yesterday at out business to get details on what I would be working on in the New Year. It was very business like and we had little personal conversation.

I spoke to so many people about it and wonder now if it was the right thing to do. I have no idea at this point if I want him out or R. Having the business complicates things and if it were not for the financial constraints I think that my decision may be easier on how to go forward.

Sorry this is all over the place but I have been holding up well today up to this point and feel the raw emotions coming back at me again

One piece of advice that I found invaluable is not to make any major decisions about your M for the first year.
While I still strive for R, I will not rule out D until I see consistent change in our M. I remain hopeful but cautious.

When I first got on SI I was like, how do I take care of myself and not my M, but I get it now. You've got to come first. Focus on you and your health, your mental health and your financial security.

I wish you luck!

I feel bad for you lisa. Hang in there. You will eventually come to a good decision that is best for you.

My boyfriend cheated on me, and when I found out, I kicked him in the balls and left him for good. I hate cheats!