Long story short, my girl made a poor decision one night that pretty much shattered me and spun her into a wild depression. Yes, she cheated. Booze was the major factor and a mess of shitty circumstances.

We spoke a bit after and then got together for 24 hours which were both amazing and tough as hell. There was no sex involved. My choice regrettably but I was not ready. She never lied or minimized anything. First time I have ever been able to look past something and want to forgive someone. I have walked away for far less and not looked back at all.

Now, here is what is killing me. After that day, she said she could not handle seeing the hurt in my eyes but that she meant what she said about her feelings toward me and that she did not want to lose me. She then shut down and that was the last time we actually spoke or saw each other. It's a month now.

She bounced back to her ex for about 5 minutes but shut that down immediately for whatever reason.

We were honestly a love at first sight that found each other six months after that moment that hit us both like a brick. I fell hard. She told all of her friends the same thing. The attraction and depth of feeling was incredible.

What I don't understand is why she would not just tell me to beat it and that she does not want me in her life so that we can both have closure and move on. We never even actually broke up. I have dated a bit everything is a comparison that just does not come close.

I have stopped trying to get her to talk to me a few weeks ago.

How do I move forward? Why would she shut me out unless her feeling were never what she said they were? I am just so confused.